The 'We' in 'Me': Why Koreans Say 'Our' Instead of 'My'

When learning Korean, one of the first and most charming quirks you'll encounter is the word 'uri' (우리). You'll hear people refer to "our mom," "our house," and "our country," even when they are clearly talking about their own individual mother, house, or country. This preference for the plural "our" over the singular "my" is not a grammatical error; it's a profound window into the heart of Korean culture.

The reason Koreans favor 'uri' is deeply rooted in a collectivist mindset, where the group is often prioritized over the individual.

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The "We" Inside of "Me"

In many Western cultures, the focus is on individualism. Your identity, possessions, and family are distinctly yours. You say "my mom," "my company," "my country." This emphasizes individual ownership and a personal relationship.

In Korea, the concept of self is often intertwined with the groups you belong to. The word 'uri' acts as a linguistic signal of this shared identity. When a Korean says 'uri gajok' (우리 가족), which translates to "our family," they are expressing that their family is a collective unit to which they belong. Even when speaking to an outsider, the use of "our" subtly implies, "I am a part of this group, and this group is a part of me."

This extends to almost everything:

• Uri nara (우리 나라): "Our country" (South Korea)

• Uri hakgyo (우리 학교): "Our school"

• Uri jip (우리 집): "Our house" (even if you live alone)

• Uri eomma (우리 엄마): "Our mom"

The most surprising for English speakers is hearing a husband refer to his wife as 'uri anae' (우리 아내), "our wife." He is not suggesting he shares his wife with others. Instead, he is expressing that his wife is a cherished member of his core family unit, the "we" that defines his life.

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A Legacy of Collectivism

This linguistic habit is a reflection of a long history influenced by Confucianism, which emphasizes community harmony, social bonds, and the importance of the family unit over the individual. In a society where the success and honor of the group (chaemyeon, 체면) are paramount, thinking in terms of "we" instead of "I" becomes natural.

'Uri' creates a subtle but powerful sense of warmth, belonging, and shared experience. It says, "This isn't just my problem or my joy; it's ours."

While younger generations in 2025 have certainly embraced more individualism, the use of 'uri' remains a resilient and endearing feature of the Korean language. It’s a constant reminder that in Korea, your identity is never truly yours alone—it is shared, supported, and defined by the "we" that surrounds you.

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